


With and Without a Doubt

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Falling for You [15]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 12:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sometimes in life we get a gimme.  Sometimes we don’t even have the good sense to take it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	With and Without a Doubt

She’d waited a day to call her. Kate wanted last night to herself. She wanted to curl up in bed, look at her ring, and dream about happily ever after. She wanted to wear John’s tee shirt so she could feel him close after he went back across town. 

She wanted to send him texts telling him how happy that she was and how much she loved him. Last night was a dream. Kate had happy butterflies in her stomach, not dread. She deserved it. 

Now she had to make a phone call and had no idea how it would all go. What was about to happen was out of Kate’s control. It always was and always had been. That didn’t mean that she could avoid doing it. In being an adult you had to take the sour with the sweet and you had to do it with your head held high.

“Hello.”

“Hi Mom, it’s Kate.”

“I didn’t hear from you last week. Are you alright?”

“I'm OK. Work just got really busy and I was juggling a lot.”

“How's Stanley?”

“He's fine. He's doing really well in school and is making new friends. He likes it here.”

“He liked it in Buffalo too.” Linda Matthews said.

“Not as much as he likes it here. He wasn’t shedding too many tears when we left. I didn’t call to argue about moving Mom. I called with good news.”

“What is it?”

Kate held back being upset that her mother seemed less than enthusiastic. It wasn’t just her youngest child that got that treatment from Linda. Life in general was nothing to get excited about. It was something to get through. Her mother’s philosophy had always been no one here gets out alive.

“John, the man that I've been dating, he proposed. We’re engaged.”

“What?”

“John proposed last night Mom.”

“You don’t even know that man.”

“We've been dating…”

“You haven’t been dating that long.” Linda cut her daughter off. “You don’t even know him and you're going to get married. You don’t know anyone in that town. Where will you go when it turns bad? What about Stanley? He's blind and that man could be abusing him. You’ve got to think Katie; you’ve never picked men well.”

“I learned from the best.” Kate mumbled under her breath. 

She had to find a way to hold back the anger. It didn’t matter how angry she got. There had even been times when she verbally lashed out at her mother. There was only so much a person could take. Linda was never going to change and it wasn’t worth it. After every altercation Kate was left to put the pieces back together while her mother just went on as if nothing happened.

“Mom, you don’t even know John.”

“And you're telling me that you do?” Linda didn’t bother to hide her skepticism.

“As a matter of fact, I do. He’s a detective with the Sheriff’s Department.”

“Cops are notorious for their bad tempers.”

“Just stop it.” Kate waved her hands though her mother couldn’t see her. “Stop trying to find something wrong with him. John isn’t perfect and I wouldn’t want him to be. He's kind and loving and funny and sweet. He loves me and loves Stanley too. 

“I've never felt this way about anyone Mom and that’s scary enough. You think I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop? You think I don’t worry that nothing is as it seems? But I can't keep surviving behind the high walls and barbed wire. I've got to live. 

“I’d rather fail trying than to close myself off from the possibilities. There are 2000 people in this town; all they do is talk about each other. Believe me when I tell you that if there was something about John I needed to know fifteen people would've told me already. He was married before…people know what kind of husband he is. He's going to be a good one.”

“I just worry about you.”

“You can stop. I'm going to be fine.”

“Well then I’ll worry about my grandson.”

 _Mom, you could give a damn about Stanley_ , Kate wanted to shout but stopped herself. She told her daughter that she was insane for taking in some blind foster kid. Linda said he would drain Kate’s bank account and probably had mental issues because of what happened to his mother. Then she found out how much money Kate would get from the state and quickly changed her tune. Still, she never treated Stanley like his cousins.

“Stanley is fine, Mom. He and John get along well. John wants to adopt him when we’re married.”

“Well he just wants an instant family, doesn’t he? He was married before…does he have kids?”

“No. Look Mom, I have to get going. I wanted to let you know that we’re coming to Buffalo over the Easter holiday. Stanley will be off from school and John’s taking a long weekend from work. Angela told me that she’s making dinner but I don’t know if we’ll be able to stay for that since it’s such a long drive back. You can meet John then.”

“Well alright. I plan to take a really good look at him.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Kate shook her head. “I have to go Mom. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Katie.”

She quickly ended the call, clutching her cell phone tight so that she wouldn’t throw it across the room. Then she cried. Even though Kate hated it, she cried her eyes out. No matter how much of a work in progress she was as a mother, she never planned to be like Linda. She wanted to love and support her son. 

She never wanted Stanley to become something just to be the polar opposite of his mother. She never wanted him to resent her or wish everything could be different. Kate really missed her dad right now. There were those, like her mother, who would've said he wasn’t the best parent. Maybe he wasn’t; Kate didn’t have very much to compare him to. 

Her parents divorced when she was five years old. It was her mother’s third failed marriage and her father’s second. Pete Wolcott packed it up and moved to Florida to find sun and work. Kate didn’t see or hear from him for two years. He came back to town when she was eight. 

Pete was a hard worker who struggled to maintain steady work. He was also a functioning alcoholic. But he loved his daughter. He may have been frequently short with the child support but never with the encouragement. He also gave Kate a place to run to when her and her mom got into it. 

There were many nights spent on his couch. Her dad was there for her through tough times. Kate didn’t know how she would've gotten through it without him. In a cruel twist of irony, Pete was killed by a drunk driver late one night on his way home from his favorite watering hole. When the police pulled him out of his Ford F-150 they could smell the liquor all over him but the accident wasn’t his fault. Kate was able to use the insurance money, those payments were the one thing he never lapsed on, to finally get an apartment of her own. She was 20 years old.

The buzzing of her phone in her hand brought Kate out of her old memories. She looked at it and saw the text message envelope. Touching it, the message from John opened.

‘ _Are you alright, baby_?’ –John

She smiled, wiping the tears as she sat up against the pillows. She quickly typed out a reply.

‘ _Are you a psychic now_?’ –Kate

‘ _I just had a feeling. Is everything alright_?’ –John

‘ _I talked with my mother and she upset me. I'm alright really_.’ –Kate

‘ _Did you tell her about us_?’ –John

‘ _Yes. We have a long, complicated relationship. You'll find out when you become her son-in-law. I'm apologizing in advance_.’ –Kate

‘ _Apology accepted. I'm not marrying her, I'm marrying you. I love you, Kate_.’ –John

‘ _I love you too_.’ –Kate

‘ _Do you want to talk_?’ –John

‘ _No. I think I'm going to take a hot shower and just shake it off. I’ll see you tomorrow_.’ –Kate

‘ _Alright baby. Sweet dreams_.’ –John

‘ _Goodnight_.’ –Kate

She took a deep breath, wiping her face again. She did want to take a shower, go to bed, and just forget about it but it was never that easy. This was going to haunt her for days, probably even longer, and Kate was angry about that. The whole situation used to make her sad but now it made her angry. Sighing, Kate dialed another number on her cell phone.

“Hey Kate.”

“Hi Meg, I'm not calling at a bad time am I?”

“No. The kids are sound asleep and Paul is at The Elbow working. I was just reading. What's up?”

“Well I called with good news.”

“Are you sure sweetie.” She laughed some. “It doesn’t sound like it.”

“John proposed last night.” Kate said.

“Oh my God, that’s great news! How did he do it? You must have melted.”

“I did melt, and the ring is so beautiful. He told me how much he loved me, how crazy it was, but he wanted to spend the rest of his life by my side. He also told me how much he loved Stanley.”

“Oh Kate, I'm so happy for you both. You got yourself a total keeper. Enjoy every minute of this.”

“You’ve known John a long time right?” Kate asked.

“Well he's not a close friend but we both live in Newberry. That means I know him pretty well. We all know of each other, you know. Why?”

“I just…” Kate sighed. 

She couldn’t even believe she was about to go there. While it was true that five months was nowhere close to a lifetime, there hadn't been a single red flag. There hadn't even been any yellow ones. The only thing Kate thought might cause them a bit of trouble down the line was John’s need to take care of everything. There were a lot of women who had no problem with their man handling things, especially always paying the bills. 

Kate had been taking care of herself for a long time. She did it because she had to. It might be nice to relax for a while, not having to worry or lose more sleep. Still, it was important to her that she and John share all the responsibilities. She didn’t want to become dependent on an alpha male husband. So far John knew when to back up and slow down.

“What was John’s first wife like?” she asked.

“Laura was nice enough. A lot of people thought she put on airs, you know what I mean. It didn’t seem as if she and John were very compatible. That doesn’t mean they aren’t both decent people. He’s just laidback and down to earth. Laura definitely was not.”

“I get it.”

“What happened?” Meg asked.

“It’s a long story and I would hardly know where to start. I called my mom to tell her about my engagement. She just made me doubt everything. I don’t know why I still let her get to me but…”

“I understand.”

“You do?”

“I absolutely do, Kate. You life with John isn’t going to turn into some episode of Dateline. He's a good man. I think he’s going to be a good husband and dad. You're not going to have to worry about finding him in bed with some tart or wonder where he is if he forgets to come home at night. 

“You're not just lucky to have him; he knows how lucky he is to have you too. Don’t let the opinions of others shake your faith in something that’s been good. Believe me, I'm of the school of if its good it’s got to be tough to achieve. Sometimes in life we get a gimme. Sometimes we don’t even have the good sense to take it. Kate, hold onto this with both hands.”

“You're right.” she nodded. “John is great and my mother doesn’t even know him. I'm not going to doubt him, or myself.”

“That’s the spirit. I can't wait to see the ring.”

“It’s so awesome, Meg. I was speechless when I saw it. John was so adorably nervous and I couldn’t wait to say yes. This is right. I can't explain how I know but I do. I'm really happy with him.”

“I'm so glad to hear that.”

“So do you want to have brunch together after church on Sunday?” Kate asked. “We can drop the kids off and get a bite. There's also something I want to talk to you about face to face.”

“Oh sure, that sounds like a plan. I’ll see you in church.”

“Thanks for listening to me, Meg. I really needed it tonight.”

“That’s what friends are for. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Kate hung up the phone feeling better. She got up from the bed and went to check on Stanley. He was sound asleep, Rufus on one side and Whiskers on the other. The cat looked at her, deemed Kate safe, and went back to napping. In her bedroom, Kate pushed the door up. She washed up and got ready for bed. 

It had been a long week. Most weeks were long. There was some really good news and some of the same old, same old. Kate could definitely say she was looking forward to the weekend. They were never long enough but at least she had something. Once she was in bed, she dialed one more number.

“Hey there.”

“I'm not calling too late, am I?” Kate asked.

“I wouldn’t care what time it was. Are you alright?”

“I love you. I just wanted to tell you that. I'm really looking forward to being your wife and being happy together.”

“You don’t even know how happy that makes me.” John said.

“I can venture a guess. My mother and I don’t get along that well. I know that we’ve never really talked about it but it’s true. It’s a long story.”

“You have forever to tell me about it.”

“I called her to tell her about the engagement.” Kate said. “She didn’t even congratulate me. She just wanted to know what was wrong with you.”

“What?”

“I don’t even know why I thought she would just be happy for me. She’s not a happy woman.”

“Well as long as you are, that’s what matters to me.”

“I am.”

She was. There was no reason to lie to John and never had been. Their relationship may have been described as whirlwind but it was fantastic. John made Kate feel so good. 

He made her feel loved. They had fun together. His relationship with her son made her smile. This was her chance at happiness and Kate wasn’t going to let anyone ruin it. It was time to celebrate not be upset.

“We’ll talk in the morning.” she said.

“You got it. I love you, sleep well.”

“Goodnight, John.”

Hanging up the phone, Kate put it on the nightstand. She turned out her lamp and cuddled underneath the blankets. Sleep was calling her name. She planned to do it with a smile on her face.

***


End file.
